✍🏼 Our stories are our superpower
Humans are storytelling machines. When our stories align with what's true at our core, they're a superpower. When they're false, we end up lost
Welcome back to The Comma Project - a space to ask the questions that matter of life, leadership, and connection. A place for leaders and seekers.
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Cheers,
Devin
Our stories are our superpower
Humans are storytelling machines.
It’s part of who we are and what we do. We create things, and we tell stories.
We create things to make life better - to improve our chances of survival, and increase our comfort level. We sometimes call this technology.
We tell stories to make sense of the inevitable suffering we face through life, and as part of our art. We tell stories to gain a sense of control over the chaos of life, to feel less alone in our struggle, and to celebrate the beauty in the journey of it all.
But, human stories are just stories. They’re not always true. We sometimes find ourselves believing stories that turn out to be false.
I believe our human stories are superpowers - but only when they align with and amplify the truth of who we are at our core, and the world around us.
Truth is what’s natural
I’m of the mind that truth is embedded in the world around us. Any truth that I believe I’ve uncovered is one that I discovered in the world around me, outside of myself - not one I invented.
Why do I believe this?
Because when it rains on our parade, it’s simply because the clouds got too heavy. The water could no longer stay floating in the air, and it fell from the sky. It’s not because the clouds wanted a wet parade.
The world around us operates in truth - what we might call its nature. Implied in that is the understanding that there are things that happen, naturally, and things that don’t happen naturally - which we call unnatural.
Hell, we even name the world around us after this truth. We refer to its laws of nature. The laws of physics. The laws of gravity. The laws of natural selection.
Just as the physical world has its own nature (we don’t expect water to flow uphill), living things have theirs.
A horse’s nature isn’t to bark - it’s to neigh. We know that if a horse barks, it’s unnatural. And we know that something must be wrong, and we have to do something to bring it back to its natural state.
Truth is what’s natural.
When we fight truth, we lose
The thing about truth and nature is that we can either accept it and seek to live our lives in harmony with it, or fight it, and lose.
I think of truth and nature as a compass. In my experience, it’s one that doesn’t necessarily point to bliss at all times, but it does point me away from misery.
We humans have a nature, too.
As I said, I think one of the defining parts of our nature is to create stories.
When our stories are true, they act like a superpower. We can learn truths ahead of needing them - before we fight our way through struggle to learning them. We can feel connected when we relate to the story of another. We can inspire progress in others and the world.
In some sense, this is what makes life dynamic and spectacular - the process of learning more about ourselves and the world around us, and doing so in connection with others along the same journey.
But, the problem we face is when our stories are untrue. When we live a false story, it keeps us not only from living more in harmony with our true selves, other people, and the world around us, but in fact take us further away, and confronts us with challenge and isolation.
We so often worship at the altar of our stories.
The stories we are familiar with, the ones we believe, can feel like our safety blanket, our anchor, in the chaos and stormy seas of our days. Of course we’re fearful of giving them up - to do so would feel as though we’re thrust deeper into the uncertainty around us, casting us groundless as we try our best to make sense of life and find proper heading towards solid ground.
But I’m realizing that more important than having a story to hold onto is having the right story to hold on to. One that aligns with what’s true.
I’m realizing this because of my experience clinging to a story that didn’t align with the truth of who I was - my true self. I realized that clinging to this story had ultimately led me further from, not closer to, the solid ground of freedom, authenticity, and fulfillment that I was seeking. This is all despite the feelings of stability and safety I felt along the way.
They turned out to be false.
This realization showed me how we can stay committed to our stories, even amidst difficulties we encounter while living in our false ones, instead of staying curious, and allowing nature and truth to reveal itself to us.
Let’s lead with what we feel
Looking back, I can see the signs of my story’s falsehood. They started out as whispers, saying that something just didn’t feel right about this way of living, working, and loving. That this couldn’t really be it. That there had to be a better way to be successful and happy.
Over time, the whispers got louder, and that feeling got more uncomfortable - I couldn’t ignore them anymore. My body was telling me that I was living out of accordance with my true nature.
It’s through this experience of a deeply embodied, difficult-to-describe discomfort that I’ve come to think of this work of gaining wisdom and personal evolution, of living more in line with our true nature as individuals, as the work of leading with our oldest parts. The parts that evolutionarily came before we developed our storytelling machines (our brains). The parts that we have in common with other living things. The parts that they use in living in harmony with their nature.
I’m talking about our instincts. Our intuition. What we feel in our bodies. In our heart-stomach. The thing that we struggle to explain.
There are plenty of words for it, and so many make me squirm. I don’t know what the best one is. I say pick whichever fits best for you.
But the key, as I see it, is to take words out of it. Follow what the unspoken forces within us compel us to do. Then, we can build our stories around it.
Nature first, then stories.
Why do I believe this?
First, because I’ve lived with certain of my stories long enough for them to reveal their falsity, and to feel the pain of fighting truth and nature.
Second, because we can communicate, interact, and connect with other beings that live without stories, nor words to communicate them! We can connect with animals, build trust, share energy, feel love, and even give them commands, all without using our words or stories!
In fact, that’s really the only way we can do so. It shows me that nature (and truth) is more powerful and universal than words and stories.
I find this connection invigorating.
And not only does it affect the animal, but it affects us as well. There’s a reason we use horses and other animals in therapy.
And third, because this doesn’t just work with animals. We do the same thing with humans, whether we realize it or not. We share energy all the same.
We even have a word for it - vibe.
It’s just that, since it’s in our nature to create stories, they often crowd out the unspoken parts of our nature.
I believe that to live more in harmony with truth and nature, we must lead with the non-verbal. We must follow our bodies - the unspoken.
I believe that while the body keeps the score, it also holds the compass. I believe we should follow it.
Let’s use our stories to scale truth
Stories aren’t evil.
In fact, as I said, I believe they’re a superpower, as long as they’re true.
The best kinds of stories scale truth. They make us feel more connected, less alone, and teach us what’s true, so we can live better.
The work that I’m doing is to lead more with the old, energetic, non-verbal parts - my intuition - then bring story right behind to amplify and scale it.
It’s hard work, but I believe it leads to wisdom.
I believe wisdom lies in truth, and I believe truth lies in the non-verbal, energetic, and intuitive.
And I believe that in the pursuit of truth lies authenticity and an opportunity for connection.
This pursuit is what I call leadership.
Here’s to the leaders - keep on seeking, and let me know what you think.
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